Father Jack’s Random Admonishments - First Draft

Father Jack’s Random Admonishments - First Draft
1-Have no congress with your neighbor’s wives.. on Friday.. unless they swim in the ocean!
2-Do NOT lie to men as you do to women, unless they be covered in blood!
3-Make men as the fishes of the Sea, as the creeping things!
4-Go up a mountain, and bring wood, and build a house.
5-I smite you with blasting and with mildew!
6-You can’t bless wine by putting it up your skirt! Or meat! Or oily potted meat!
7-Threescore and ten kings have their thumbs and their big toes cut off, and gather their meat under my table!
8-Fight against Jerusalem, and take it, and smite it with the edge of the sword, and set the city on fire!
9-I will smite all your borders with frogs!
10-The graven images of their gods shall ye burn with fire!
11-The silver is mine, and the gold is mine!
12-Jackism - Feck!, drink!, arse!, girls!

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