TO the Honourable and Dignified PUISSANT SCIONS OF THE POINTED STICK, Traditionally I would write you a long missive full of allusion, sly misdirection, and possibly even including convoluted word problems involving the unknown speeds of convict-jockeys, beet yield in Revoca Canton, and the ownership of a red balalaika - but that would profit none of us, so I shall be brief. HAVING accoutered myself and my squire with suitably pedigreed destriers, arms, and other such accoutrements of the Order, HAVING been granted peerage and noble title by the Decade-King of Kezmarok, HAVING accomplished divers feats of arms in the pursuit of both weal and lucre, and HAVING a finely honed sense of fashion and appearance, I, Ba Chim, make application to join the Puissant Scions of the Pointed Stick. PS: Janosz does not own the red balalaika, but still plays a stringed instrument.