Father Jack’s Random Admonishments - First Draft 1-Have no congress with your neighbor’s wives.. on Friday.. unless they swim in the ocean! 2-Do NOT lie to men as you do to women, unless they be covered in blood! 3-Make men as the fishes of the Sea, as the creeping things! 4-Go up a mountain, and bring wood, and build a house. 5-I smite you with blasting and with mildew! 6-You can’t bless wine by putting it up your skirt! Or meat! Or oily potted meat! 7-Threescore and ten kings have their thumbs and their big toes cut off, and gather their meat under my table! 8-Fight against Jerusalem, and take it, and smite it with the edge of the sword, and set the city on fire! 9-I will smite all your borders with frogs! 10-The graven images of their gods shall ye burn with fire! 11-The silver is mine, and the gold is mine! 12-Jackism - Feck!, drink!, arse!, girls!